


The Box

by pcyjunguwudays



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) References, Captain Kun, Comedy, Crack, Crime, Detective, Legal, Murder Investigations, Other, Police, Smart!Yukhei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 11:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22715461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcyjunguwudays/pseuds/pcyjunguwudays
Summary: “...So you’re telling me we have an interrogation on our hands with just about everything on the line? And that we have to stay overnight and give up on our planned schedules and activities? All because of Dong Sicheng?!” Kun demanded, his eyes wide.Yukhei cringed a little. “Yes?”“In that case, I’d better call Yuta and tell him dinner’s been cancelled.”“Oh damn!”Based off the B99 Episode "The Box" S5E14
Kudos: 21





	The Box

**Author's Note:**

> Ten sweetie I'm so sorry I love you lots best boy

A sharp rap on his desk was what made Yangyang look up from his phone. The stranger standing there was hot, he had to admit, but at that moment in time, he really didn’t care. According to Yukhei, this guy was a murderer, and that meant, no matter how much he pleaded, he couldn’t sleep with a murderer. “What?” he drawled, hoping the only thing the guy could hear was indifference and not the attraction underlying it. 

“I’m Xiao Dejun. Detective Wong Yukhei asked me to come in.”

“Ah! If I’m not mistaken, you’re the dentist who murdered someone.” Xiao Dejun opened his mouth to reply, but Yangyang scoffed, cutting off any reply. “Spoiler alert, they think you did it.” He motioned for Hendery to come over. “Bro, take this guy to interrogation room C, please.”

“What’d he do?” Hendery sized up Dejun. Dejun shoved his hands in his pockets, looking bored out of his mind.

“Dentist who murdered someone.”

“Allegedly,” Dejun pointed out. Hendery and Yangyang both ignored him. 

“Who’s got this one?”

“Yukhei.”

Hendery sucked in a breath, whistling. “Damn! You’ve got one hell of a night coming up.”

“Right?” Yangyang laughed, fist bumping Hendery as the officer made to leave.

“Right this way, your royal murdering highness.” Yangyang grinned as he sat back down, knowing that Dejun was about to have the experience of a lifetime.

**********

"Captain!" 

Kun turned to see Yukhei beckoning him into the room behind Interrogation Room C with a huge grin on his face. He followed, frowning. “What are you smiling about?”

“How uncomfortable this guy is.” Yukhei gestured through the two-way mirror at the young guy now sitting in the room, a frown on his handsome face. “I turned up the thermostat, closed the vents, took two ends off the chair, and accidentally-on-purpose spilled my coke.” Yukhei held up his can. “Oh! And I got Yangyang and Hendery to greet him.”

“What did you have them do?” Kun asked, his eyes glinting.

“Nothing.”

“Ouch.” Kun winced, and Yukhei grinned, taking a swig of the coke, grimacing as the flat liquid slid down his throat. 

“Why are you all dressed up? Where are you going on a Tuesday night?”

“Oh, Yuta and I were going to go out for dinner.”

“Ooh, where were you going?” Yukhei asked eagerly. Kun stared at him over the top of his glasses, and Yukhei grinned innocently.

“Who’s this?” Kun gestured to the window, ignoring the detective’s questions.

“This is Xiao Dejun, or Xiaojun to his friends, apparently.”

“What’d the poor sod do?”

“Well...what we’ve got is a clear motive and clear means for the murder of his business partner, this guy called Ten. We also don’t have an alibi at all. But the prosecution refused to take the case from us because his lawyer is arguing it’s all circumstantial and they agree.” 

“We can just leave him to stew for a while, to be honest,” Kun thought, but Yukhei shook his head. 

“Not this time, Cap. I don’t quite know what happened behind the scenes, but I know his lawyer’s pulled some strings. We’ve got twelve hours to get a confession from this guy.”

“Who’s the lawyer?” 

Yukhei sighed. “Sicheng.”

“...So you’re telling me we have an interrogation on our hands with just about everything on the line? And that we have to stay overnight and give up on our planned schedules and activities? All because of  _ Dong Sicheng?! _ ” Kun demanded, his eyes wide.

Yukhei cringed a little. “Yes?”

“In that case, I’d better call Yuta and tell him dinner’s been cancelled.”

“Oh damn!”

“Hey, Yuta.”

“Oh shit, sorry!”

“Yes, I probably won’t make it. I’m sorry. Don’t be mad, it’s just because Sicheng- Oh, you’re going to Taeyong’s then? Say hi to him and Johnny for me.”

“And me!” Yukhei yelled. 

Kun tucked his phone back into his pocket. “You don’t even know them.”

“I do now, I said hi. They know me, I know them.”

Kun just shook his head, exasperated already. “Let me see the file.” Yukhei handed him the file and sat back, draining his coke completely and crumpling the can as he waited for Kun to process the information. 

“He did it.”

“Told you,” Yukhei said smugly.

“But we have no murder weapon, no witnesses, no phone records, nothing! Are you sure forensics found nothing stable for us to use?”

“The body was found rotting up in the woods behind a beach house in Busan. It’d been rained on for three weeks and chewed on by wolves or something. The only other DNA found apart from the victim’s was uh...some bear faeces.”

“Lovely.” Kun snapped the folder shut. “Let’s get in there and grab a confession from him.”

“Oh.” 

“Why the long face, Wong?” Kun took his hand off the handle. 

“You’re gonna come in with me. I just...I thought I’d do this solo. And then you’d pull me out when I got too hot, call me a loose cannon, all of the usual.”

“Do you really think I’d cancel dinner with my husband for no reason?” Kun turned around, a hand on his hip. “Hell no! I’ve missed a good old interrogation. Breaking suspects down. Talking quietly and then loud, walking away from them and then boom! Right in their personal space. Leaning in, leaning back, walking circles around them. It’s…” Kun trailed off, and Yukhei blinked.

“Woah. That was amazing.”

“So, can I join you?”

“I mean…” Yukhei thought for a moment. “You might as well. A lot of interrogations work better with two people. The ol’ good cop/bad cop routine, I suppose.” Yukhei jumped off the desk and strode out through the door. “Let’s break this son of a bitch!”

“Hello, Dejun.”

“Detective.” Dejun looked calm, but Yukhei wasn’t fussed. He’d break the man down the moment the introductions were over.

“This here is Captain Qian Kun. He’s something of a legend in interrogation circles.” Dejun nodded politely at Kun, and he nodded back in the same fashion, sizing up their suspect. “Hey, just out of curiosity, who’s the coolest person you’ve ever gotten a confession out of, and what’d they do?”

“Mr Onions. He stole three hotdog carts.”

Yukhei actually stood up at that, staring at Kun in disbelief. “What the hell, Captain, you were meant to make it sound so much cooler! Mr  _ Onions _ ?!  _ Hotdog carts?! _ ”

“I don’t lie, Wong.”

“Are we actually going to do some interrogating, or do I have to sit here and listen to you bickering about onions and hotdogs?” Dejun drawled, shoving a hand in his pocket. 

“Right.” Yukhei shook his head, still shocked about the whole Mr Onions fiasco. “So, shall we recap the night your business partner was murdered? Friday the 13th, how fitting.” Yukhei grinned, tapping the ends of his fingers together. “I believe you were the last person to see him alive, correct?”

Dejun smiled. “Well, actually, the person who killed him probably saw him after I did.”

“Ooh, nice dodge. You’re quick, like a cat.”

“Like a dancer,” Kun put in, leaning forwards.

“Like John Smith.” Silence. “What? Oh come on, you’re telling me you guys have never read the Lorien Legacies? He’s got superspeed? Can run faster than a car?” 

“No,” Kun shook his head. 

“Nope.”

“Shut up, I wasn’t asking you!”

“You said,  _ you guys _ ,” Dejun pointed out. Yukhei huffed. 

“Whatever. It’s an amazing series, you’d better read it. I can’t believe neither of you can match my superior literature intellect. Though, actually, Dejun, you probably won’t be able to, since you’ll be in prison. Ha!”

“Very funny,” Dejun rolled his eyes. 

“How about you tell us about that Friday, then?” Kun interrupted, glancing pointedly at Yukhei.

Dejun nodded, folding his hands in front of him on the desk, then wincing as they came into contact with the sticky surface of the table. Yukhei suppressed a grin, wanting to carry on with the investigation. “Easy. I had a late afternoon surgery. It was a simple gum graft. Finished at around five, and then Ten and I had a chat afterwards.”

“Who else was in the office?” Kun was taking notes in a small notebook, not looking up as he spoke.

“Our other two dental staff members had gone home earlier in the day, and so had our office assistants. We usually give them a half day on Friday because it’s not so busy. Jaehyun had left earlier than normal because his nephew broke his leg at school. He usually locks up after we’re gone,” Dejun added as Kun opened his mouth to clarify.

“So it was just you and Ten? No witnesses?” Yukhei asked. Dejun nodded, and Yukhei sighed. “That’s lucky.”

“Well, it wasn’t lucky, because there was nothing to witness.” Dejun and Yukhei locked eyes for a moment. “Ten just wanted to talk about firing one of our office assistants, Bambam.”

“And that’s all you discussed?” 

“Yeah.”

“Nothing else at all?”

“Nah.”

“Absolutely nothing else was even mentioned?” Yukhei pressed. 

“No.”

“Not even about how disgusting other people’s mouths are?”

“No.”

“Liar!” Yukhei slammed his hand on the table, and Kun’s pen went flying across the room, scrawling a line through his immaculate notes. Kun huffed, turning the page and getting up to retrieve his pen while Dejun simply looked up at the detective. “About the mouth thing.” There was a pause. “And the meeting.”

“We just talked about Bambam.”

“Right.” Yukhei stood up, starting to walk up and down in front of the two-way mirror. “And of course, there’s no way for me to check if that’s true, because conveniently for you, whoever took Ten’s phone wiped off all of his calendars.”

“Bold of you to assume Ten kept a calendar in the first place.”

Yukhei raised an eyebrow at Dejun. “And bold of you to assume I even checked! But thank you for clearing that up for me.” Kun turned in his seat to stare at Yukhei in disbelief.

“Wong, you  _ cannot _ have thought that  _ that _ was a good comeback!”

Yukhei looked Kun straight in the eye. “Bold of you to assume I can think.”

“Luckily for you, Detective, I checked the file, and found a copy of Dejun’s calendar. I’ve got it right here, actually, do you want to know what the meeting was about?” Kun flipped his notebook a few pages and stuffed it in Yukhei’s hands. Confused, he took the book.

“‘Friday 13th March, 5:30pm. Talk to Ten about missing meds’.” He flipped the notebook shut. “Ah ha! Missing meds doesn’t sound like ‘fire Bambam’ to me! Mind explaining what that’s about?”

“Ten thought Bambam was stealing codeine to fuel an addiction. That’s why he wanted to fire him.” Dejun sounded way too proud of himself as he added, “Any other questions?”

Yukhei slammed his fist into the table again, and Kun swore loudly as the pen once more dented the page. Yukhei shrugged in apology, and Kun took a deep breath, clearing his mind from the annoyance. When he opened his eyes, Yukhei was repeatedly flipping his notebook open and shut again.

“Let me guess, you practiced that notebook flip?” Kun looked at him, amusement dancing in his eyes. “You looked so excited that I almost confessed, and I’m not even the one who’s being interrogated here.”

“Ha, ha,” Yukhei laughed sarcastically. “Yes, of course I practiced that notebook flip, I’m not a savage, Captain.”

“I’d like to move on, unless you have anything else you’d like to reveal to me,” Dejun interrupted. Yukhei cleared his throat, handing the notebook back to Kun.

“Right. Let’s see…” He opened his own notebook again, which was mostly filled with scribbles. “‘You think you’re big boy, throwing three stacks, I’mma show you how to ball, you a mismatch, Opinionated but I’m always spitting straight facts, Turn around, I’mma throw this on an eight-track,’” he read out, a huge grin on his face. “Just kidding, that was Mark’s rap from our rap battle earlier on, I liked it so much I had him write it down for future reference.” 

“I honestly can’t see why Detective Lee would choose to waste time rap-battling you when there’s more pressing matters at hand, like the  _ interrogation we’re currently in _ ,” Kun hissed at him, raising an eyebrow pointedly. 

“Of course, dear Captain, you are correct-”

“So, Dejun, you said you and Ten were partners, but the deeds to the business only list Ten’s name.”

“He started up the practice, and I joined afterwards.” Dejun’s tone seemed to shift a little as he spoke to Kun, something more akin to respect, and Yukhei frowned.

“Hey, Captain, uh, something’s come up on the case. Mind stepping outside for a moment?” Yukhei left the room first, Kun following him, and Dejun watched them ago, amused. That guy at the desk wasn’t wrong about what a wild ride this was turning out to be, he thought.

Outside, Yukhei was fuming. “What the hell was that, Captain? I almost had him, why’d you go and take over like that?”

“You were wasting too much time, and honestly, the more you mess around, the more time it gives him to think up a story,” Kun told him. Yukhei frowned. “Look, Yukhei, you got a little bit flustered after he told you the whole Bambam - drug addiction thing. I thought we could use it to our advantage.”

“I wasn’t flustered,” Yukhei lied. 

“Yes you were.”

“Yes I was.” He sighed. “But still, I don’t like this. You’re just going to make me look stupid.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for that, but we could use it as our strategy.”

“If I didn’t know any better, you’re describing a smart-cop/dumb-cop situation. Which I would be totally fine with, but... _ I’m _ the dumb cop. And I’m not the dumb cop.”

“Just go along with this,” Kun ran a hand through his hair. “I want Dejun to focus on me as the threat and dismiss you completely. It means that when I leave him alone with you, he’ll refuse to take you seriously and in the process, he might reveal something that he won’t with me.”

Yukhei sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Fine. What do you want me to do?”

“Do what you’re doing, but step it up a notch. Drop things, stop speaking halfway through your sentence, stupid questions, just ask him to confess, start a rap battle with him, whatever it takes.”

“You  _ know _ the rap battle thing is a sacred ritual between me and Mark,” Yukhei whispered, scandalised. “You fiend!”

“You didn’t have any qualms about reading out the entirety of Mark’s rap earlier,” Kun pointed out, shaking his head. “Come on. Time to break him.”

**********

“So, Dejun, the night of the murder, you met Ten in the surgical suite,” Kun said, flipping through his notes. “Why there? Why not in your office?”

“We were preparing for next day’s surgeries.”

“Don’t you have assistants who do that?”

Dejun shrugged. “I’m a meticulous person. I like to do things myself. I’m careful like that.”

“So careful that you-” Yukhei paused, frowning. 

“Was there a question in there somewhere?” Dejun asked after a minute, and Yukhei shook his head.

“Nope, nada, forgot, sorry. Just come back to me later. Or tomorrow. Or never.”

“Now, we did a sweep of the room where you and Ten fought.”

“We talked.” 

“Right, of course. The entire room had been scrubbed. Not a single trace of anybody’s DNA. Mind explaining that?”

“Do you brush your teeth every night before you sleep, Captain?” Dejun asked. Kun nodded.

“Of course.”

“Well, that’s because you’ve used your teeth all day. Talking to others, eating foods, drinking coffee, the usual. So you sanitise,” Dejun explained slowly, as if he was talking to a child. “In the same way, we use our surgical suite every day. Cutting into people’s mouths, drilling, removing teeth. So of course, you’d expect there to be dirt there. You don’t expect me to walk in the next day and pick up the same scalpel I’d used in his mouth in yours, do you?” he asked, pointing at Yukhei. 

“Hey, the Captain would be honoured to have my DNA in his mouth!”

Both Kun and Dejun grimaced. “He’s got a point, Detective. And for the record, no I wouldn't.”

“So you see,  _ that’s _ why you wouldn't have found any DNA. Because by law, we have to keep the place scrubbed clean and sterilised for the next person to come in and use.”

“Ooh, I remembered what I was going to ask,” Yukhei piped up. “Did you kill him?”

“No,” Dejun glared at Yukhei. 

“Damn it! If you’d said yes, I would’ve had you!”

“So, after you and Ten fought-”

“Talked.”

“Talked, right, sorry, I keep slipping up.” Kun put on an innocent smile. “You left the office, but you didn’t take your car?”

“Yes. I was going to go drinking, since of course, it was Friday. I didn’t want to drive drunk, so I left the office in a taxi instead.”

“And you didn’t have your phone?”

“I left it charging in my office, and I didn’t realise until I was at the bar. If only I’d had it, I would’ve seen Ten’s missed calls…” Dejun sighed sadly, and Kun discreetly glanced at Yukhei, urging him to say something.

“Man, if I don’t look at my phone for more than ten minutes, I lose my foot five streak with Jungwoo.”

“Detective, what the  _ fuck _ is a foot five?” Kun actually stood up at that, all pretense gone from his posture. 

“It’s this app, Captain, look, I’ll show you guys.” Yukhei pulled out his phone excitedly and immediately opened the app. “Oh, that’s disgusting,” he groaned, and turned the phone to show the screen to Dejun and Kun. Both instantly recoiled, Kun glaring at Yukhei. 

“Detective, what the hell is that?!”

“That’s uh...my grandfather’s foot.” Yukhei swallowed hard, putting his phone away. Kun raised an eyebrow at him.

“Good decision, Wong.” He turned around and sat down again, rolling his neck a little to relieve the stiffness. “Right, then. Talking about your phone.”

“Why does it matter that I forgot it?” Dejun leaned forward, seeming genuinely curious, before a small smile spread across his face. “Ohhhh, I see. If I’d had it on me, you could’ve tracked my location based on how it pings across the cell towers.” He sighed almost sadly. “Oh well, didn’t have it on me, so it doesn’t matter now.”

“So, you took a taxi to this bar, right?” Dejun nodded. “Well, we talked to the employees there. Nobody saw you there.”

“Nope,” Dejun shook his head. “Nobody  _ remembers _ seeing me there, there’s a difference.”

“Let me ask you this, though,” Yukhei began, and by the seriousness of his tone, Kun suspected that he was about to ask a normal question. He was beginning to regret asking Yukhei to be the dumb cop; it was really getting on his nerves. “Did you kill him, though?”

“Nah.” Dejun smirked, and Yukhei sat back. “You know, Captain, it’s not surprising that nobody remembers me. It was a Friday night, the bar was packed to begin with, and I spent my whole time in the corner talking to this beautiful lady named Jieqiong.”

“Oh? But when we ran checks on credit card receipts received the bar that night, there was nobody named Jieqiong there that night,” Kun flipped the relevant page in the file open and slid it across the table to Dejun, but the suspect didn’t even bother looking at it.

“Trust me, Captain, Jieqiong wasn’t buying her own drinks.” Dejun smirked.

“No?”

“No.”

“Okay,” Kun conceded with a head nod. Yukhei took the opportunity to grab Kun’s attention with his blank phone screen.

“Captain, look what’s just happened.” Yukhei prayed that Kun wouldn't say anything, and to his immense relief, Kun played along. 

“I’ve gotta go and deal with this, let’s take a five minute break,” Kun stood up instantly, tucking his pen into his pocket.

“Orrrr, why don’t I continue this interview solo?” Yukhei hinted. 

Kun hesitated visibly, though to the trained eye, it was completely fake. “Sure, that’ll be...a big help.”

“All right!” Yukhei made sure to inject as much excitement in it as possible, and when Dejun winced over Kun’s shoulder, they both knew it was the right thing to do. Kun turned and walked away without looking back, and Yukhei turned to face Dejun, grinning excitedly. “Right, where should we start, then?” Yukhei rubbed his hands together, pulling the file back to him.

“Don’t you think we should wait for your boss to come back?” Dejun leaned backwards. 

“What makes you think he’s the boss and not me?”

“Could be the fact that you’ve literally called him nothing but Captain, while he called you both Detective and by your surname - which I’m assuming is Wong. Now, I’m not an idiot-” Yukhei scoffed “- but I’m  _ pretty _ sure a Captain is a lot higher than a mere detective.”

“I hate the fact that you know all of that,” Yukhei muttered, shaking his head.

“Or, maybe you hate the fact that I’m a better detective than you are.”

“Alright,” Yukhei hissed, suddenly annoyed. “We’ll see who’s the better detective. Answer all of these questions if you think you’re so clever. What kind of car does Ten drive? Where is Ten originally from? When you left your phone at the office did you leave it plugged into the wall or your computer? How long did you know Ten? What colour was Jieqiong’s hair? What did your taxi driver look like? Did you kill Ten? Have you ever visited the place where the body was found? Which route did you take to the bar?”

“This is a huge waste of time.” Yukhei glared at Dejun. “Ok, ok, chill out. Ten drove a Polo. He’s originally from Thailand, same as Bambam, actually, my phone was plugged into the wall, because seriously? Who charges their phone off a computer? I’ve known Ten for, ooh, fifteen years or so? Jieqiong’s hair was a beautiful colour that I’d describe as halfway between red and purple, my taxi driver had a couple of piercings and bright red hair, I didn’t kill Ten, I haven’t been to Busan in about twenty years and I didn’t take any route to the bar because I’m a dentist, not a barrister.” 

“Wow. Impressive.” Yukhei stared at Dejun in a manner he hoped was menacing. “You think you’re a smartass, don’t you? What with the  _ ‘I’m a dentist not a barrister’ _ , I’m not an idiot.”

“No, I know you’re not an idiot,” Dejun grinned at him. 

“You didn’t even fall for my question about whether you killed him.”

“Nope.”

“Although, it  _ is _ interesting that you knew Ten’s body was found in Busan, when nobody actually knew that, and I didn’t mention it, either.”

Watching through the two-way mirror, Kun punched the air. “Yes, Yukhei! Way to go!”

“I can’t believe you thought I was the dumb cop,” Yukhei continued, shaking his head. “I mean, I’ve read eight books in my life, and seven of them were the Lorien Legacies, but that’s not the point! I could tell you everything you need to know about telekinesis and destroying helicopters without moving an inch, and breaking handcuffs with just a thought.”

“Actually, Ten’s mother told me.” Yukhei stopped ranting about his book series and stared at Dejun. “I’ve been talking with her a lot, comforting her, keeping her company.”

“We asked her not to share that information, and she’s already said she hasn’t.”

“Well, she’s been distraught. After all, she’s just lost her only son. She might not remember.”

“Right,” Yukhei muttered. “Funny thing is, I don’t believe you.” He cleared his throat. “What did you mean when you said you hadn’t been to Busan in twenty years?”

“When I was little, my uncle Yixing used to have a house there on the beach, and behind it there were lots of woods and forestry. We used to go there three times a year when I was younger.”

“You do realise how this sounds, don’t you? Your uncle happens to own a beach house in front of the woods, in the same town that Ten’s body was found,  _ also _ in the woods?”

“You can call my uncle if you want.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, we will be. So you might as well just confess now, it’ll be a hell of a lot easier for the both of us. Either way, we’ve got you.” Yukhei grinned as he left the room.

**********

“We don’t have him.”

Yukhei stared at Kun in disbelief. “You’ve  _ got _ to be joking! I just told him we had him!”

“I called Yixing the moment Dejun slipped up. He said that he hasn’t been to the beach house in months, and that he hasn’t seen Dejun in nearly a year, not since he and Dejun’s mother fought.”

“Well, what about the owners of the other houses? Surely someone must have seen them.”

“Yukhei, it’s off-season,” Kun shook his head. “There’s nobody there at this time of year.”

“Well, he wouldn't know that, would he? We could just say that he was seen-”

“I said no!” Kun raised his voice, and Yukhei stopped, genuinely stunned. Kun had never shouted at him before. “It won’t work,” Kun continued in a softer voice. 

“The Supreme Court said we’re allowed to lie in an interrogation, though. I mean, I told someone last week that I personally knew Zhong Chenle, the singer. It wasn’t true, if that’s what you’re thinking, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the case, but I’m allowed to say whatever I want.”

“I know it’s not true, Wong, because I’d know if you knew my nephew.”

“Your nephew?! No way is a guy  _ that _ cool related to you!”

Kun paused. “I suppose I deserve that for yelling at you.” Yukhei smiled, glad that the tension between them had dissipated. “But back to the point. It wouldn't be right to lie. Trust me. What if Dejun was never at the beach house in the first place? Then what?”

“I know he went there, trust me, Captain,” Yukhei said, shaking his head. “I can just feel it.”

“But just suppose you’re wrong,” Kun insisted. “Then Dejun will know that we don’t actually know anything. Bam! There goes our credibility and our leverage, and our investigation has just gone down the pan, and I cancelled dinner with Yuta for absolutely no reason.”

“I’m sorry, but you know I’m right,” Yukhei whispered.

“We need a different strategy.”

“Ooh! How about I run in there, screaming, yelling, throwing those chairs around and breaking the mirror? And then he’ll truly believe that I’m the dumb cop.”

“No offense, ge, but you don’t do the whole angry thing very well.” Kun and Yukhei both yelped, spinning around to see Yangyang standing in the doorway. 

“What are you still doing here?!”

“I was just on my way home, though I’d pop in on my two favourite people,” Yangyang smiled innocently. “But, Yukhei, your strategy is shit.” Kun coughed. Yangyang ignored him. “You’re like a big old puppy, you’re basically incapable of feeling any other emotion that’s not happiness and sunshine. You getting angry is like a bubble popping.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“A tiny, not so loud, barely noticeable pop!” Yangyang gestured with his hand, then waggled his fingers at them as he walked off. “So long, guys.” Kun shut the door behind Yangyang with a sigh. 

“Am I a bubble?” Yukhei stared into the door unseeingly.

“Yukhei, come on. We need a new strategy.”

“What do you suggest? Bubbles?”

“No bubbles! We need to break him down properly. Get all up in his personal space, make him feel uncomfortable.”

Yukhei sighed. “Fine.”

**********

“So, Dejun, let’s get back to the bar. You’re hanging out with Jieqiong. How long did you stay?”

“Hmm, probably until around two o’clock? Perhaps two thirty? I got into another taxi and went home.”

“Why didn’t you grab an Uber or something? I’m familiar with the neighbourhood, and it’s difficult to find a taxi around there,” Kun leaned in right close to Dejun’s face, hoping to make him uncomfortable..

“Because I didn’t have my phone, remember?” Dejun smiled politely, and Kun cursed inwardly. This was turning out to be a lot harder than he thought it would be.

“Did you talk to the driver?” Yukhei was sitting on the table on Dejun’s other side. 

“No.”

“How did you get home?”

“The usual way.”

“Funny.”

“Wasn’t meant to be.” Dejun looked straight ahead so he was looking at neither of the officers, and Yukhei made a face over his head. 

“Good, cause I’m the only comedian around here.” 

“You sure are,” Dejun looked at him, then frowned. “Oh my God, your teeth!”

“What? What about them?” Yukhei’s hands flew to his mouth, startled by the sudden change in topic. “Oh my god, Captain, are my teeth falling out?!”

“No, it’s not that,” Dejun interjected, reaching up and removing Yukhei’s hands from his mouth. “It’s just...they’re really filthy. When did you brush?”

“Hey!” Yukhei glared at Dejun. “I brushed this morning!”

Dejun shook his head mournfully. “Detective, you should brush your teeth a lot more often, because  _ that _ ,” he gestured at Yukhei’s face, “does  _ not _ look good at all.”

“How dare you?!”

“Ooh, and those fillings back there? You should get them removed and filled in properly,” Dejun continued as Yukhei’s mouth opened more. 

“Ok, this is going nowhere,” Kun stood up, interrupting Dejun’s tirade about Yukhei’s mouth. He tugged on Yukhei’s hand. “Come on, Detective.” Yukhei allowed himself to be pulled out of the room, still quietly moaning about the apparent disgusting state of his teeth as he shut the door behind a smirking Dejun. “Snap out of it, Detective!” 

“He insulted me!” Yukhei stared at Kun in disbelief. “How could you sit there and let him insult me?”

“He’s deliberately getting to you,” Kun shook his head. “You’re just giving him ammunition. You need to stop being so insecure about your teeth.”

“I’m not insecure-”

“Mm-hmm,” Kun raised an eyebrow. “Explains why you were nearly in tears when I dragged you outside.”

Yukhei took a deep breath, rubbing his temples. “Fine. New strategy.”

“Simple. Don’t get so worked up.” Kun pulled open the door and walked inside, and Yukhei followed him in, his jaw clenched. He would  _ not _ show his teeth again, not to Dejun. 

“We have a few more questions for you,” Kun started. “So, Dejun-”

“Since we’re so familiar with each other, you can call me Xiaojun if you like,” Dejun interrupted, and Kun stopped. 

“What?”

“I said, you can call me Xiaojun instead.”

“And why on earth would I do that?”

“Because we’re so familiar with each other now, Captain,” Dejun emphasised. “I mean, we’ve been together in this room for about five hours now, and I feel like we know so much about each other!”

“First of all, what makes you think we’re friends? You’re here because you  _ murdered another human being _ -”

“Allegedly.”

“Allegedly, my ass!” Kun exploded, and Yukhei blinked, one hand still on the door handle. “We are  _ not _ friends, no matter what you think! You are here in this room, getting interrogated by the two most formidable officers in this entire station because  _ you _ decided it would be a good idea to attack and  _ kill  _ one of your  _ closest _ friends, and because of you, both Detective Wong and I have had to give up our evening plans to sit in this room with  _ you _ , and you seem to think it’s a joke?! And now, you want us to call you by some  _ benign _ nickname that makes absolutely  _ no sense _ ?! Xiaojun, what kind of nickname is that? At least make it make sense! No, but all you did was remove the “De” from your name, and to be honest, you might as well have removed it from your body too, because you don’t even have the  _ balls _ to admit to the crime you’ve so  _ obviously _ committed!”

**********

“My throat hurts.” 

“Yep.” Yukhei handed Kun the glass of water, patting him on the shoulder sympathetically. “Apparently nicknames are a trigger for you.”

Kun drained the entire glass, slamming it down on the table as he glared at Dejun through the window. “I hate it when nicknames don’t even make sense. And he so  _ clearly _ did it, it almost hurts to see.”

“I said that to you when we started the interrogation,” Yukhei pointed out. “I told you, my intuition was correct.”

“Big words, Wong.”

“Just tell me I’m right, Captain.”

“You’re right, Yukhei.” Kun sighed, shaking his head. “We need to find out how to break him.” There was silence between them as they both thought. “Ah, I know! We make him confront his victim!”

**********

“Say his name.”

“Ten.”

“Look him in the eye and say his name.”

“Ten.”

“His full name.”

“Lee Yongheum.”

“How about his birth name?” Yukhei was getting more and more into this now.

“Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul.”

“But he was known as Ten. Work it into the name.”

“Chittaphon Ten Leechaiyapornkul.”

“Now say it without looking so neutral. Show some emotion,” Kun said as he paced up and down the room.

“Chittaphon Ten Leechaiyapornkul.”

“Now try not to blink, so tears come to your eyes.”

“Chittaphon Ten Leechaiyapornkul.” Dejun licked his lips. “That’s a mouthful.”

“Damn it, Xiaojun!”

Kun gestured to him, and instantly they both left. Dejun sighed behind them, bored of the interrogation now.

“Ok, first of all, you aren’t his friend, so don’t give into him and call him by that name!” Kun told him. Yukhei held up a hand.

“Don’t get worked up again, I’m scared that you’ll have a heart attack,” Yukhei said quickly, patting Kun on the shoulder. “I promise I won’t call him that again.”

“Good.” Kun nodded grimly. 

“But damn, this guy is a good murderer! There’s got to be some way to break him.” A devilish grin appeared on his face. “Hang on a minute…”

Five minutes later, Yukhei reappeared in the room, glum as Kun roared with laughter at him. In his hand was Hendery’s flute, the instrument having been left behind in his desk drawer. “I can’t believe you thought that would work too!” Kun howled at him. Yukhei merely glared at him, wiping the saliva from his cheek. Inside the room, Dejun was rubbing at his ears, but he still didn’t look annoyed, a complete contrast to how Yukhei was feeling. 

“Look, I’ve broken down idiots before with Hendery’s flute,” Yukhei muttered, and Kun laughed harder at the utterly defeated look on Yukhei’s face, combined with his unintended double entendre. 

“Come on, we’ve got a murderer to confess,” Kun stood up, still chuckling. As they entered the interrogation room, it was like a switch was flipped; the serious Captain was back. Yukhei just sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He was tired now, and he just wanted this to work so he could sleep.

“Tell us again about your relationship with Ten,” Kun was asking Dejun. 

Dejun sighed. “We’ve been over this already. We got along well, as you’d expect.”

“So you never fought, at all.”

“Well, we had disagreements from time to time, as everyone does. But no, we’d never actually fought. We had a good partnership.” Dejun smiled, and Yukhei’s stomach dropped, suddenly having a bad feeling about this. “He never, for instance, skipped out on a party so he could micromanage me while I was doing my job.” Yukhei and Kun exchanged glances. “I mean, that’s what’s happening here, right? That’s why you’re so dressed up?”

“I skipped dinner, not a party,” Kun corrected him. 

“And he’s not micromanaging me, for your information.”

“I’m here because I enjoy interrogating scum.”

“Yeah, scum like you!”

“That was implied, Detective.” Yukhei grinned.

“I just thought we had a good rhythm going.

“We do.”

“I know.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“So you seriously don’t believe that your Captain cancelled a dinner just because he enjoys interrogating innocent people, do you? And that it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it’s because you’re also here?” Dejun asked Yukhei.

“He believes in me,” Yukhei said, though his tone was a lot firmer than his emotions. Did Kun really not believe in him?

“Ok, sure, fine, let’s say he does trust you and believe in you, then,” Dejun conceded. “But why did he make you the dumb cop?”

“He didn’t  _ make _ me dumb cop,” Yukhei hissed, stabbing the table with his finger. “We agreed on it as a strategy.”

“Right, right, strategy, sure. But why wasn’t  _ he _ dumb cop?” 

“Oh please, as if you’d ever believe that,” Kun interjected. Yukhei tore his eyes away from Dejun to stare at Kun.

“What?”

Kun looked sheepish as he realised what he’d said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “It’s just that, well...between the two of us, you’re more believable as...not the smart cop.”

“So are you calling me dumb?”

“No, no,” Kun said hastily. “You’re not dumb, just...the dumber of two smart options.”

“That’s gotta hurt,” Dejun whistled, looking at Yukhei. 

“Shut up,” Yukhei rounded on Dejun. “You’re not interrogating us, we’re interrogating you.”

“Tell us more about that codeine,” Kun jumped in, eager to turn the conversation away from his and Yukhei’s dynamic. He could feel the unease and genuine confusion radiating off Yukhei, and not for the first time that evening, he cursed Dejun again in his head. “Was Bambam really taking it? Because I feel like it was you.”

“Bambam wasn’t taking it, and neither was I. To be honest, it could’ve been any of our employees, since they all have access to our storage rooms.” Dejun inspected his fingernails. “You know, Captain, it might sound strange to you, but I actually trust the people who work for me.”

“I’m telling you, Captain Qian is only in here because I want him here,” Yukhei snapped. 

“Really? So you’re saying that every single one of those ideas was yours? The getting in my personal space thing? The smart cop - dumb cop ploy? Even blowing the flute with random notes - by the way, you  _ really _ could do with some flute lessons, I’ll hook you up with a friend of mine who teaches - that was your idea too?”

“I came up with the flute thing,” Yukhei admitted reluctantly. 

“Wow. And you signed off on that?” Dejun asked Kun. 

“Well…” Kun struggled for what to say, at a loss for words. 

“Wow,” Dejun repeated, laughing. “That’s sad. Seriously. The one idea you have, and it’s shit.”

“Shut up.”

“I just feel bad for you, man,” Dejun patted Yukhei on the shoulder, and Yukhei shrugged him off, furious. 

“All right, you shut up and listen to me now,” he snapped. “You think you’re smarter than us? You think you can deflect everything back onto us and make us fight between ourselves? Because I can assure you, it is  _ not _ working. If anything, it’s making me think more than ever that you’re a guilty son of a bitch, and I  _ swear _ , I will find something. One skin cell, one eyelash, one tiny little drop of saliva, any inconsistency in your story, and I will pounce on it before you can even say Ten’s full name once again! Everyone who loves you will know what a despicable, horrible little man you are, and they’ll all leave you alone to rot and die in prison for the rest of your life, and then, when you’re dead, it’ll be  _ your _ corpse that a bear mistakes for a toilet and shits on!”

Dejun snorted, and Yukhei spun around, enraged. “I’m so sorry, but honestly, you’re like a bubble. You’re way too soft, I can’t take you seriously when you’re getting angry, because it’s like, pop! And you’re deflated.”

“A bubble?! Again?! Come on, I am  _ not _ a bubble! You want angry?! Because I’ll show you angry!”

“Yukhei, no!” Kun yelled, but it was too late. Yukhei had already punched the glass mirror; the next thing he knew, Yukhei was on the floor, yelling in pain as his knuckles met the glass. Dejun doubled over with laughter that echoed down the corridor as Kun helped Yukhei to his feet and out of the room. 

“I was hoping that would break the glass,” Yukhei muttered when he felt like he could talk without being sick ten minutes later. He was holding a cold compress to his knuckles. “Goddamn it, Captain, am I really a bubble when I get angry? I mean, first Yangyang said that, and now this stupid son of a bitch Dejun thinks so too.”

“It  _ is  _ hard to take you seriously when you get angry,” Kun admitted, and Yukhei sighed. 

“Whatever. Do you think we broke him yet? I still feel like I have the upper hand.”

“I told you that getting angry wouldn't work.”

“Well, your brilliant ideas haven’t gotten us anywhere either,” Yukhei shot back. “He knows every strategy in the book! Look, the only thing that will save this is if we lie about the beach house.”

“Lying will  _ not _ save this,” Kun told him firmly.

“I’m telling you, it’s going to work.

“No, it’s going to backfire, and it’ll destroy the progress we’ve already made.”

“Oh, so Dejun was right, then? You skipped dinner with Yuta because you don’t trust me.”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Kun reiterated, looking Yukhei firmly in the eyes. “You’re one of my best detectives, Yukhei. I trust you fully. You know that I’m here because I missed a good interrogation, just like I told you at the start.”

“So let me do it my way, then,” Yukhei insisted, desperate for his approval. 

“I did, and look where that got you! You almost broke your hand and made yourself look like an idiot twice in an hour because you decided to blow that fucking flute as well!”

Yukhei closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. He didn’t want to lose his cool again, and he knew that part of the problem was the fact that he was tired, as well. It was close to four in the morning, and the pressure of the situation was getting to him. They had only five hours left to extract a confession out of Dejun, and if he was being honest, they hadn’t really gotten that far in the last seven. 

“Look, I’m sorry,” Kun said softly. “I know you’re frustrated. But don’t listen to him. The point is, he’s trying to make us fight between ourselves so we don’t focus on him. The more time we waste on ourselves, the less time we have left to get him to confess. He knows that just as well as us.”

Yukhei nodded, hopping off the table and flexing his hand. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, try and clear my head. I think we’ve been stuck together for too long.”

“That’s a good idea.” Kun smiled and watched Yukhei leave. A moment later, the smile was wiped off his face as spotted his detective materialise in the interrogation room. “Wong Yukhei!” he yelled, banging on the glass, but of course, it was soundproof.

“Guess what? I just got off the phone with CSI, and guess what they told me,” Yukhei didn’t bother with the niceties. “Your uncle’s neighbours witnessed you go into the cabin the night Ten was murdered. They identified your photo. Gottem!”

“Interesting,” Dejun replied, and Yukhei suddenly froze, the feeling that he’d just made a horrible, horrible mistake seeping into him like ice water. “But the only problem with that is, my uncle doesn’t have any other neighbours.”

“But the other houses-”

“He owns one of the other ones too, and the remaining one is empty.”

Yukhei closed his eyes. “I’m best friends with Zhong Chenle.”

**********

“You were lying in an attempt to frame my client,” Dong Sicheng hissed at Yukhei. Yukhei flinched as spittle landed on his skin. He really didn’t like Sicheng, not since he’d moved from the prosecution’s office to another law firm. They’d been good friends back in the day, but he couldn’t quite forgive him for betraying their little team. 

“No, no, look-” Kun began, but Sicheng cut him off.

“You lied about his uncle having a neighbour! The neighbour doesn’t exist!”

“It could’ve been a squatter, or homeless people, or even a thief, or-”

“What Detective Wong is  _ trying _ to say, is that legally, he can say whatever the hell he wants in an interrogation, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Sicheng shrugged. “True, but what would happen if a jury found out about that? Not so good for your case, is it?”

“Damn it, he’s right,” Yukhei muttered. “I hate you once again for going over to the enemy.”

“We’re not the enemy, Yukhei,” Sicheng just smiled. “Point is, you lied, so my client’s leaving.”

“No! He can’t leave until I dismiss him!”

“You’ve had him for, ooh, over eleven hours already,” Sicheng told Yukhei, checking his watch. “In fact, your time limit is coming up in fifteen minutes, and if you don’t let us go, the second that second hand hits the twelve, I’ll be filing an official complaint.”

Yukhei stifled a snicker behind his hand. “Second hits the second.” 

Dejun was the one that spoke up. “Come on, man,” he shook his head. “I don’t know what’s worse, that lame joke or having to see your grandfather’s foot.”

Kun had to almost physically drag Yukhei out of the room to stop him from lunging at Dejun and throttling him; after all, he didn’t want a full legal case against their station for assault, either.

“I told you not to lie!” Kun exploded as soon as they were back into the other room. For the second time that night, Yukhei flinched as Kun yelled at him. Truthfully, since he’d lied to Dejun, he hadn’t come back to see Kun, and rightly so; Kun was furious with him, the point where he had to let Dejun sit and stew in the hot room in silence for a couple of hours. Yukhei hadn’t returned, choosing to hide out in the toilets until Kun grudgingly called him, stiffly letting him know that Dejun’s lawyer Sicheng was back. “What were you thinking?!”

“I just thought it’d work!” Yukhei protested, picking up Dejun’s file again and flipping through it. Then he sighed. “And I kind of wanted to be the one to get him. It was my case, after all, and I just…”

“You thought I was here to take over.” Kun shook his head. “So after all that, Dejun really did get to you.” He rubbed a hand over his face, exhausted. “This is about your ego, isn’t it? You just wanted us all to know how great you are. Typical Yukhei. I thought you’d have changed by now, matured up a little bit, but-”

“Oh my God, I’ve got it!” Yukhei interrupted, and Kun stopped ranting, the anger on his face replaced with a little bit of hope. “He’s going to jail!” 

Yukhei burst into the interrogation room, and Sicheng stood up. “He’s not answering anymore of your questions, Yukhei.”

“No problem, I’m not here to ask any,” Yukhei grinned, setting down the file and flipping it open again to slide out two pictures. “Have a look at these.”

One was a picture of Dejun, and the other of Ten. “What’s the point of this?”

“I’m Dejun,” Yukhei said, pointing to Dejun’s picture. “I’m a successful dentist, I own part of my practice with my best friend Ten. However, I’ve become addicted to codeine, and it’s gotten to the point where I’m beginning to steal it from my own practice. Disclaimer, I’m not hating on drug addicts,  _ but _ in your case, I’ll make an exception because you killed a man.”

“I didn’t kill anyone.”

“Stop talking,” Sicheng hissed at Dejun, and Dejun pressed his lips together in a tight line. 

“Anyway, back to the story.” Yukhei rubbed his hands together. “One day, I’m working late when my boss Ten comes in for our meeting. But it wasn’t about firing Bambam, not really. The real reason for the meeting is because he’ found out that it was me who was stealing the codeine, and he says that if I don’t stop, he’ll file a complaint against me to the police. Now, because I’m both a junkie scum - again, not your fault, happens to us all - and because I’m a selfish rich kid who doesn’t want to lose all that money and status that I’ve got, I decide for an easy way out. Most people would choose to, I don’t know, blackmail him, but something snaps inside me, I turn into an animal, I grab the nearest thing to me and bam! I kill him.”

“You don’t have a murder weapon,” Sicheng points out, but Yukhei shakes his head, pulling out two more photos. 

“I do now. Look here. This is a photo of Dejun and Ten in the surgical suite about a month ago. This one here is a picture the CSI department took a couple of days after the murder. See anything?”

“We’re not answering that.”

“Whatever, you don’t have to. I’m doing the talking here. Well, in the first shot from a month ago, in the background you can see six trophies there from the awards show for medical professionals. Congratulations for that, by the way,” Yukhei added, inclining his head at Dejun. “But in the second shot? Only four.”

Kun opened the door and stepped inside, confusion written all over his face, and Yukhei shot him a wink over his shoulder. “Now, my question is, what happened to the other two? Wait, don’t answer that, I’ll tell you.  _ You _ murdered Ten with them!”

“I did not!” Dejun burst out, and Sicheng glared at Dejun, making a lip-zipping gesture at him. 

“You did. You lost all control and bludgeoned him to death with them. The first one bent out of shape with the force you used, so you had to grab the second one just to make sure you finished the job off. There was blood everywhere, of course there was, but you got lucky because you were going to sterilise the suite anyway, you never would’ve gotten away with that in your office.”

“That’s not true,” Dejun snapped, and Sicheng took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration at his client.

“Do  _ not _ say anything else, Dejun.”

“You put Ten’s body on one of the gurneys, covered it up and wheeled it into the lift, it’s a miracle, actually, that he didn’t drip all across the corridors, either.”

“That didn’t happen.”

“Normally, you would’ve been caught by your employees, but it was a Friday, so the other dentists weren’t here, and Bambam had gone already, and Jaehyun luckily was out because of his nephew - again, lucky on your part.”

“You’re wrong!”

“Now, you’re in the car park with the body, but now what do you do? You check your pockets, and you can’t find your phone, and then you realise you’d left it charging in the suite. Fair enough, but now what do you do? Oh wait, Ten’s car keys are still there, which is damn lucky isn’t it? You got lucky once again! So you load Ten’s body into his car, and off you drive. You know your uncle Yixing isn’t in his cabin at this time of the year, so it’s the perfect place to go.”

“No, that’s not-”

“It’s easy enough to get there at that time of night, so you get there and hike up into the forest, far enough away that nobody can accidentally find it, but close enough so that you don’t spend so much time, and you dump the body. You got lucky with the timing, because during the day, the beach is teeming with people. Lucky again!”

“That’s not it!” Dejun yelled, jumping to his feet. Sicheng tried to grab him, but Dejun shook him off, furious. “I knew exactly where I was going. I left my phone in the office on purpose so that I had an alibi, and I made sure to call my own phone from Ten’s before I dumped his body. I didn’t use either trophy, the two of them were knocked onto the floor by one of the idiotic cleaning crews and ended up dented, so I sent them off for repairs! I used a lump of dental mould putty that had been sitting in the freezer for six months to kill Ten, and then I let it defrost and I’ve already had my dentists use them for a number of patients’ dental moulds!” Dejun yelled. The second he was done, he froze, his face filling with colour as he realised what he’d done, and Kun started to clap behind Yukhei. 

Yukhei checked his watch. “And, that’s time! Twelve hours.” He smirked at Sicheng. “Looks like you  _ won’t _ be leaving here any time soon.” 

**********

“There’s one thing I still don’t understand,” Kun told Yukhei, an arm around the detective as they watched the van take Dejun away. “Did you know you had the wrong murder weapon?”

“A very good question, Captain.” Yukhei stretched, sighing. “I did. I spotted it when I reviewed the case yesterday. The dents to Ten’s head just didn’t match anything about the trophies, but I didn’t know why they weren’t in the second photo. A couple of quick phone calls, and I figured out that the trophies had been damaged and had been sent for repairs. Actually, the trophies were on their way back to the office when I got hold of the driver.”

“So why did you run in there like that if you knew that?”

“Because while you were yelling at me for jumping the gun a little bit-” Kun snorted, “-I realised what his biggest fear was: that we would figure out that he’s not as smart he thinks he is. That’s why he kept attacking our credibility and our dynamic and even my teeth - everything he could think of to deflect our attention away from him.”

“Ah, so by walking in there and telling him that every move was just luck, it undermined his intellect! That’s genius, Yukhei!” Kun turned to hug Yukhei, and Yukhei grinned, taking the Captain into his arms. 

“Thank you, I do have my moments, Captain,” Yukhei laughed as they separated. “You’re right. It killed him to have me say it was just luck, so he just needed us to know how smart he really was.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Kun said, winking. 

“Right, Yuta, of course,” Yukhei joked and they both shared a laugh, the sound intensifying as Sicheng started storming towards them. 

“Good morning!” Hendery strolled past them, grinning as he patted Yukhei on the shoulder. Yukhei grinned back at him. 

“Well, Detective, it looks like it’s time for work, so I’ll be going into work.”

“What about Sicheng?” Yukhei turned to look at Kun frantically. 

“You’re the lead detective on the case, you can deal with him.” Kun grinned and strolled back inside, following Hendery into the lift just as Sicheng reached a panicked Yukhei.

“Wong Yukhei, I am  _ so _ going to rip you a new asshole!”

**Author's Note:**

> Ok I really enjoyed writing this one! It's been a prompt in my drafts for about a year but I didn't get to finish writing it until last night bc,,,life hehe
> 
> It was my first time attempting to write proper crack, so let me know how I did and whether I should attempt it again lmao
> 
> Also pls check out the Lorien Legacies, it's a real book series and one of my favourites I've legit been banging on about it for years to my friends and I'm sure they're sick of me talking about it now, hence the plug in the fic jwjs (thanks Yukhei uwu)
> 
> Everyone say Yukhei best boy & wish my boy Jaehyun a happy birthday
> 
> Wow this note is a complete mess ok bye now 
> 
> (Also my twt is @pcyjunguwudays if anyone wants to chat/be moots/the usual)


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